An employee at Big Bay Brewing got a heavy dose of lewd and lascivious behavior Sunday afternoon, when a man came into the beer-maker's Shorewood tasting room, pulled out a laptop and began to masturbate.
At 2:48 p.m., police say they received a call from the Big Bay employee. She said the man came into the bar at 4517 N. Oakland Ave. wearing black windbreaker-type pants, a Packers windbreaker and Packers hat with tassels.
He said he planned on meeting someone at the bar, then settled on a seat next to a fireplace, and pulled out his laptop.
The employee said she then heard “weird noises” coming from the man, and went to investigate when she realized the man had pulled down his pants and was masturbating.
The man fled the bar in an unknown direction; police were unable to locate him.
Did he re-pants before fleeing or was he running with said trousers around his ankles. Mrs. Constanza would be oh so disappointed that he was treating his body like an amusement park.
ELAINE: (Wide-eyed) So, she fell? GEORGE: Yeah. Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!